One of the most typical reasons for sibling rivalry over aging parents is disagreements about who is responsible for caring for mom or dad. Even while every sibling wants to assist and care for their parents, only some siblings have the time or energy to do so. It may be assumed that one sibling will take on more of the caregiving responsibilities between adult siblings if they are "less busy". However, this may not be fair or realistic.
The difficulty in this situation is that everyone has important responsibilities and commitments. Someone with a more flexible work schedule or fewer childcare responsibilities may not be able to commit as much time to care for their senior parents.
This problem may be further exacerbated by geographical differences. Children who live further away find it harder to visit frequently to help out with the care. In these instances, the sibling may be unaware of their unfair contributions, even if they want to assist their senior loved one. The sibling who does take on the extra responsibilities may believe their sibling is purposely avoiding the extra work. Thus, they should begin a discussion about fair caregiving responsibilities between adult siblings.
How to Determine Caregiving Responsibilities Between Adult Siblings
Here are some recommendations for resolving any conflicts about unfair caregiver responsibilities between adult siblings during the holidays.
Utilize Each Sibling’s Strengths
Almost everyone can assist with at least one or two fundamental areas of caregiving. Share caregiving responsibilities with adult children, a partner or spouse, other family members, or professional caregivers like Senior Helpers Alle-Kiske Valley. When a senior parent wants to stay at home, a caregiver can ensure that their quality of life, senior care needs, and home safety standards are met.
Long-Distance Siblings
Long-distance caregivers can offer valuable emotional aid to the sibling who lives closer to their parent. Contacting a sibling may not seem like much help, but sometimes a "listening ear" can make a world of difference. Long-distance siblings can also contribute to care through online shopping and delivery management for their senior parents and sibling.
Assign Caregiving Responsibilities Between Adult Siblings
Have an open discussion about the jobs each sibling would be best suited for. Keep in mind practical considerations like availability and location.
Communication Is Key
Decide ahead of time how frequently and when to provide updates about a senior loved one. Create a committee to make decisions together and confirm what decisions the primary caregiver can make themselves. The situation becomes less stressful when everyone is aware of their responsibilities and the boundaries for decision-making ahead of time.
Seek Professional Senior Care Services
Caring for an ailing or elderly parent may bring out the best and worst in sibling relationships. In an ideal world, the experience of caring would bring siblings closer together through reciprocal support. However, stressful conditions can rekindle old rivalries or revive old scars. This can aggravate already fragile relationships and lead to bitter confrontations. On the other hand, caregiving may improve sibling friendships and provide a chance to foster family relationships through a common goal.
Senior Helpers Alle-Kiske Valley provides high-quality in-home care for elders in Pittsburgh, Kittanning, Indiana, and New Kensington. Our skilled and experienced caregivers are ready to offer your loved ones the best elder care they require and deserve. Contact us anytime so we can help.