Caregiving can be difficult.
Caregivers are 3x as likely to have a stroke or heart condition and over 2x as likely to suffer from depression or report “poor health” than the general population
The common signs and symptoms of Caregiver guilt include:
- Resentment: feeling unappreciated for the care you are giving
- Irritability: If you do not feel gratitude for what you are doing
- Anxiety: Fear that you are doing something wrong
- Helplessness: Regardless of what you do it never feels it is right or enough.
- Depression and sadness: As a caregiver you can be repeatedly confronted with loss and grief as the person you are caring for changes and gets worse
Ways to cope with caregiver guilt:
1. Recognize what is causing the guilt
Denying guilt will only cause it to fester. Give yourself permission to feel guilt and do not judge yourself harshly for feeling this way. For example, it is okay to say, “I resent how my mother’s illness has caused my family’s life to change.”
2. Be kind to yourself
The root cause of guilt is a feeling that we are not meeting our own expectations. Are your expectations realistic? Would you ask somebody else to do what you’re doing?
3. Do the things you enjoy
On airplanes, part of the safety briefing is to put your oxygen mask on before taking care of others. Do you know why? If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll eventually drop and then you’re no good to anyone. Take time to recharge by doing things that nourish your body and soul.
4. Take a break
Ask family or friends to relieve of some of your caregiving responsibilities. Other options include looking into local adult facilities that offer senior daycare or respite opportunities. Another popular solution is bringing a paid caregiver into the home to provide needed services and companionship for a few hours. (Obviously, Senior Helpers is the preferred home care provider 😊 )
5. Get help
“A burden shared is a burden halved.” – T.A. Webb
Support groups are a great way to understand you’re not alone and learn different techniques to make caregiving easier and more effective. Counseling is also an option if your symptoms are impacting your quality of life.
6. Educate yourself
Understanding the progression of your loved one’s illness can lessen the guilt you are experiencing. Are you wondering why your mother is so “damn mean” sometimes? Perhaps the part of her brain that controls normal social interactions is dying due to Alzheimer’s disease. It really isn’t your fault….