Visalia Family Stories: Recording and Preserving Memories

Everyone who came before us has great stories to tell. The stories of our parents, grandparents, and other elderly loved ones all help to explain how our histories were shaped, and can reveal cultural, personal, social, and economic factors that all molded our perspectives and identities.

Your loved one might not think they are very important if they don’t have a direct connection to major historical events. They might say things like “I just lived my life, did my job, and tried to do good, like everybody else.” Accordingly, they might be hesitant to agree to record their stories. However, the simple fact that they lived through the past means their stories matter.

Time changes the world around us in ways we can’t control, which means that commonplace occurrences, or ways people live every day, might one day in the future be very unfamiliar to younger generations. After all, consider that your loved one lived before the current round of life-changing technologies, such as the internet and smartphones.

While it may, at first, feel awkward to break out a voice recorder or a video camera to make a record of your relative’s stories, it is a great way to preserve your family history. It’s important to preserve these stories in a permanent way, as diseases such as dementia, parkinson’s, and other age related concerns can all rob our loved ones of the ability to tell these stories.

Collecting family stories is about learning where you came from, so that you can have an idea of how you got to where you are in the first place. It’s also a great way to foster communication across generations, and encourage bonding between grandparents and grandchildren. Sharing stories can help to put a real person behind the things that young people read in history books and learn in school. It can also help your children get to know who their grandparents were as children, teens, or as young adults, beyond just the “grandma” and “grandpa” of today.

Talking with your loved one about their history helps you to understand the struggles they overcame and builds empathy. That compassion can easily translate to our relationships with other people and even the way we interact with the world around us. We all face hard things. Remembering that fact in the context of others’ shortcomings allows us to be better spouses, parents, children, siblings, friends, partners, and human beings.

Furthermore, collecting stories about good times and bad times remind us that not everything in life will work easily, that disappointments occur and inequalities exist, but that we can recover, triumph, and find happiness through hardships.

If you’re having trouble getting past surface answers, or want to dive deeper into a particular area, ask follow-up questions to draw out details and clarify information. Sometimes people might worry that they are rambling so follow-ups help put them at ease to continue. Setting up the right time and place for the conversation is important. You want to minimize distractions so your loved one is able to reflect widely, recall fully, associate freely, and maintain an atmosphere in which they are willing to articulate fully those recollections.