The strain of working together to make decisions about a parent’s care can strain even the closest families. Watching the health of your loved ones decline is always going to be tough. What complicates matters is that caregiving responsibilities are often not split equally between siblings, which can alone cause conflict.
A study by the AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving revealed that only one out of every ten caregivers say that their responsibilities are shared equally and without conflict amongst their loved ones. In most families, it ends up that one person finds themselves shouldering most of the burden. It often is the eldest daughter or daughter who lives closest to the parent.
A common source of friction is differing opinions. Adult children won’t always see eye to eye on how much care or what type a parent needs. These are often caused by a child who lives far away, or is in denial about the parent’s decline. Another cause is disagreements about money. Adult children may disagree about how to best spend, or not spend, a parent’s money. It is also unfortunately common for siblings to clash over their potential inheritance.
Caring for an aging parent requires a coordinated approach. It is important to put aside any differences and keep in mind that the ultimate goal is what’s best for the parent. Routine communication among adult children and loved ones is vital for avoiding misunderstandings. Make a habit of meeting regularly, even if it’s only over a phone call or a video chat.