The holidays are often filled with high expectations, necessitating a lot of energy and engagement to stand up to the onslaught of non-stop activities and functions. But for seniors living with Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias, holidays can be a challenging time filled with high anxiety and stress. Festivities can often confuse, agitate, and overstimulate people living with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. And for caregivers, the increased difficulty can add to their existing burden of stress and anxiety.
To minimize the anxiety and encourage a happy, comfortable holiday season for the entire family, a little bit of forethought and consideration can go a long way in ensuring everyone has a wonderful time. Always keep in mind that the holidays are supposed to be a joyful, happy time for enjoying each other’s company and sharing gratitude.
Let guests know what to expect before they arrive. If your loved one is in the early stages of their dementia, it’s possible that friends and family may not even notice any changes. But for seniors in the middle or late stages of dementia, they may have trouble following in conversations, might repeat themselves, and might not recognize the people around them. Family can help with communication by being patient, making sure not to interrupt or correct the senior in question, and giving them plenty of time to finish their thoughts. Make sure that any visitors understand that any changes in behavior or memory are caused by the disability, and not by the senior forgetting about them or trying to be rude.
The difficulty of caregiving responsibilities, combined with the expectations thrust upon us by the holidays can take quite a toll. Invite family and friends for a conversation about it early on, and be honest with them about any limitations you might have or help you might need. The goal is for everyone involved to all enjoy their time together, so make sure to open lines of communication so that everyone can work together to make sure everything goes smoothly.
The hardest step for most people, but truly the most necessary, is to be good to yourself. Give yourself permission to only allow yourself to do what you can actually reasonably manage. If you’ve always entertained a large group of guests before in the past, consider downsizing your celebration, or enlisting another family member to host. Let others participate by hosting a potluck or preparing the food with you. The holidays are a great time to be gentle and kind with yourself.
Involving the person with dementia can also go a long way. Focus on activities, traditions, and memories that will be meaningful to them. They may find comfort and relief in listening to their favorite music, looking through old photo albums, or listening to and sharing stories about their past and the family history. As their abilities allow, invite them to help with the decorating, food preparation, table setting, and other holiday tasks.
It is also important to, despite the interruptions and turmoil caused by holiday plans, make sure you’re sticking to their normal routine. Introducing sudden changes to a dementia patient that they may not understand is a surefire way to cause anxiety and agitation in them.