Convincing Loved Ones to Accept Care

In many families, when older adults need extra care to get through their days, adult children or grandchildren will step in to help. And while at first, this can be a workable arrangement, the task list can soon swell. Soon, helping out here and there becomes managing your loved one’s healthcare appointments, taking care of the house and domestic tasks, and sometimes performing hands-on health care tasks that may seem more appropriate for a trained medical professional to manage. This can lead to the volunteering caregiver to soon feel overworked, which can put them at the risk of caregiver burnout, which can negatively affect the health of both the caregiver, and the person they’re responsible for caring for.

If this scenario seems familiar to you, it could be time to have a conversation about increasing care support for your senior loved one. Most older adults prefer to remain in their homes as they age, and so professional in-home care can be a wonderful solution and alternative to moving your older relative to an assisted care living facility. Unfortunately, many older adults are stubborn about admitting the need for help, or are suspicious of bringing in an outsider to deliver care. 80% of professional aging caregivers have reported that they regularly encounter cases where the older adults are resistant to receiving help or assistance. Below are some common reasons and excuses senior adults give when refusing offers for receiving increased care. By familiarizing yourself with them, you can be prepared for having the conversation about increasing their care, and arm yourself with what you can say to empathize with them and help put their minds at ease.

• “I prefer receiving care from the family”: It’s most likely that you or another family member have been providing care in an informal arrangement. When this arrangement has been the status quo, it’s natural for your loved one to be resistant to change, as well as be uncertain about having a new caregiver introduced into their life. Talk to your loved one about the effect the list of care tasks is having on you or other family members. Most parents want the best for their children, so hearing about how it’s impacting your lives might help.

• “I don’t want to spend the money”: A common refrain from older adults who are usually more cautious about spending their savings or fixed incomes. But with many programs or insurance benefits available to help pay for care, a meeting with a financial planner could help put their mind at ease.

• “I don’t want a stranger in my home”: Gently remind your older relative that having a home care assistant come in and help is no different than having a plumber or electrician in to perform some work. The home care assistant will be a paid professional. Any reputable home care agency will thoroughly vet their staff, with background checks and pre-employment screening, as well as hold their employees to the highest standards of confidentiality, privacy, and professionalism.